As a breastfeeding mother, you may have noticed that your response to stress isn't always the "fight or flight" reaction you learned about in biology class. Instead, you might find yourself drawn to your baby and seeking connection with other moms. This instinct has a name: the "tend and befriend" response.
What is "Tend and Befriend"?
The "tend and befriend" theory, proposed by Dr. Shelley Taylor and her colleagues in 2000, suggests that women, particularly mothers, have a unique stress response. When faced with challenges, instead of preparing to fight or flee, women are more likely to:
Tend: Focus on nurturing and protecting their children
Befriend: Seek out social support and create protective social networks
This response is believed to have evolutionary roots, enhancing the survival of both mothers and their offspring in threatening situations.
How "Tend and Befriend" Affects Breastfeeding Mothers
As a breastfeeding mom, you might experience the "tend and befriend" response in several ways:
Tending Behaviors
Increased nursing frequency: You might feel an urge to breastfeed more often when stressed, which can be soothing for both you and your baby.
Enhanced milk production: Stress can sometimes trigger increased milk production as your body prepares to nourish your baby in challenging times.
Heightened sensitivity to baby's cues: You may become more attuned to your baby's needs and signals.
Protective instincts: You might feel a stronger desire to keep your baby close and safe.
Befriending Behaviors
Seeking lactation support: You may be more inclined to reach out to lactation consultants or experienced mothers for breastfeeding advice.
Joining breastfeeding groups: Participating in support groups or online forums can provide a sense of community and shared experience.
Bonding with other mothers: You might find yourself naturally gravitating towards other moms, especially those who are also breastfeeding.
Sharing experiences: There may be a stronger desire to share your breastfeeding journey and listen to others' stories.
Benefits of "Tend and Befriend" for Breastfeeding Mothers
Understanding and embracing your "tend and befriend" response can have several positive impacts:
Stress reduction: The oxytocin released during breastfeeding and social bonding can help lower stress levels.
Improved milk supply: Frequent nursing and reduced stress can positively impact your milk production.
Enhanced emotional well-being: Building a supportive network can reduce feelings of isolation and anxiety common in new mothers.
Better breastfeeding outcomes: Access to support and information through your social connections can help you overcome breastfeeding challenges.
Stronger mother-infant bond: The increased focus on your baby can further strengthen your emotional connection.
Embracing Your "Tend and Befriend" Instincts
As a breastfeeding mother, you can harness the power of your "tend and befriend" response by:
Practicing skin-to-skin contact with your baby
Joining local or online breastfeeding support groups
Reaching out to friends, family, or professionals when you need support
Creating a nurturing environment for breastfeeding
Sharing your experiences and listening to other mothers
Remember, your instinct to nurture your baby and connect with others is not just normal—it's a powerful tool for navigating the challenges of motherhood. By understanding and embracing your "tend and befriend" response, you can enhance your breastfeeding journey and overall well-being as a mother.
Comments